18. Life+
11:11 am, Fri, 10 May
Dana is back on dialysis today. Currently she is having to go three times a week, but Dr Aldridge warns that we may have to increase this. Dana is still so bright and positive, but I can see she looks tired. Apparently there is also some type of infection that is complicating things.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
10:21 pm, Sat, 11 May
I don’t feel like writing this blog. I don’t feel like anything at the moment.
8:25 am, Sun, 12 May
"You know Malo," Dana says as I sit next to her in the hospital ward. "There's a church service they run downstairs in the family room today at 9. Why don't you go?"
I look up from the newspaper I’m reading. "It won't be the same without you," I reply.
"I know," she says, "but maybe there's a chance you can make a difference to someone else."
Somehow Dana always seems to see the other side. I just can't help thinking about me, while she continually astounds me in how she is always thinking about others.
“Hmm. OK. Maybe I will just go and check it out. As long as it is not too intense. I don’t want some touchy-feely thing, I’m just not in the mood for that.”
Dana smiles.
I look up from the newspaper I’m reading. "It won't be the same without you," I reply.
"I know," she says, "but maybe there's a chance you can make a difference to someone else."
Somehow Dana always seems to see the other side. I just can't help thinking about me, while she continually astounds me in how she is always thinking about others.
“Hmm. OK. Maybe I will just go and check it out. As long as it is not too intense. I don’t want some touchy-feely thing, I’m just not in the mood for that.”
Dana smiles.
9:01 am, Sun, 12 May
I am sitting in an old, must have been donated, lounge chair in the family room. The room has been arranged in an informal circle of chairs. Not any two are the same. The sign on the door said -
"Want to talk or just listen?
Join us at 9 when we
chat, read, and pray together."
A middle-aged guy, sitting on a plastic chair says, "Hi everyone. Thanks for coming." He smiles a warm and welcoming smile, making eye contact with all of the approximately ten people seated in the room. He's dressed in a pair of jeans and is wearing a simple pale blue T-shirt. He almost seems too young and casual to be running this church service, but there is something about his smile and manner that seems genuine.
"Let's start with a prayer," he says bowing his head. "Father, thank you." He pauses. I feel a little restless and peek surreptitiously out of one eye. Is he finished? Are we meant to do something?
After a while he continues. "Thank you for twisting the events of this world, for controlling the details of our lives so that today all of us in this room could be brought together. It's beyond our comprehension how you work. We just love you. Love being in your care. Help us to know of a certainty that today you are here. That today you brought each one of us here. Be near us. In Jesus, the beloved name, we pray. Amen."
He looks up and says. "It is so fantastic to see you all here. I was just saying to my wife Paddy earlier today, that for some reason I feel today is special. But anyway, first things first. Some of you are regulars," he says smiling at some on my left, "but maybe a quick intro would be good. I'm Dave Newman. I suppose you could call me the pastor of this little gathering. But that's far too fancy a title. I'm here just like you, to comfort and be comforted. Maybe, if you don't mind, just quickly introduce yourself. If you don't want to, that's fine. Just tap the person next to you."
Immediately I’m worried that this is going to turn into one of those hug and snot and tears things. I really, really don’t feel like that. “I wonder if I can still sneak out,” I think to myself, but realize I’d have to climb over people to do that. I’ll just have to stick this out.
The people in the room briefly introduce themselves. I quickly realize that most of them have someone in the hospital. A few are actually patients.
"Hi," I say when it's my turn, "I'm Malo Bel." I leave it at that. I'm not comfortable saying too much. Why? Maybe I still don't trust people. Maybe I'm afraid I will lose control if I share. For now, my name is enough. Dave smiles a greeting at me, as the person next to me introduces himself.
"Life's a funny thing," Dave says after the introductions are complete. "For some of us this may be our first time coming to talk to God. For some we have been doing it for years. For some of us this may be our first time having a loved one who is sick. For some we have had this for months or years. But whatever our circumstances, God has brought us all today to be together. Now that is amazing. In the midst of our darkness, in the midst of our worry, God says there is light, there is life."
He leans back in his chair, and pauses. I can sense that everyone is waiting. He continues. "One of my favorite Bible passages is in John 10:10. Easy to remember too," he says holding up ten fingers when he says 10:10. "Jesus says, I have come so that you may have life...hey but he doesn't finish there. Not just life like breathe, eat, sleep...no...but that you may have life and have it abundantly."
Pumping his fist in the air he says, "This is life, the FULL-on life. That's what Jesus offers. He came so we can have life and have it full on...abundantly. In fact the word means super abundantly. It's overflowing, brimming over, uncontainable life. Humor me a moment," he says, "I just want to share a Greek word with you because it's so cool. This word ‘abundant’ is the Greek work peri-sauce. How cool...or should I say how hot is that?” he says beaming a huge smile at everyone. “OK it's not quite spelt peri-sauce but perissos- but it gives the meaning. This is a hot, spicy, tasty life. This is a life so spiced, so peri-sauced, it's just huge, bigger than huge, hotter than hot. It’s just full on!" He pauses again waiting for us to process what he has been saying.
He continues in a softer voice, leaning forward slightly. "But, it hardly seems like the type of thing we should be talking about here in a hospital room. A place of people who seemingly lack life. A place of sickness, sadness. A place of no abundance, no overflowing, no heat, no flavor...NO!" He suddenly exclaims, "this is EXACTLY what we should be talking about. This is the EXACT place where Jesus most wants us to experience this abundant life. The exact place where our lives are sad and tasteless, that he wants us to add the hot peri-sauce flavor."
Once again he pauses and looks at each of us. "Jesus holds out a special life to us. It's called eternal life. But before you think I'm talking about the future, about living eternally, which he also promises, I am not. I'm talking about eternal life now. Could someone read 1 John 5:11 and 12 for us."
A young girl, she looks to be in her early twenties says, "I will," and then begins to read. Her voice is soft and I have to lean slightly towards her to hear.
"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life." She finishes reading and looks back at Dave.
"Thanks Beth," he says. "Isn't that amazing. God HAS given us eternal life. Not WILL but HAS. In Jesus you HAVE eternal life now. But you're wondering what went wrong?" he says.
I nod slightly because that is exactly what I'm wondering. Dana, beautiful, awesome Dana is not looking anything like eternal at the moment. And she loves God. She has certainly received Jesus.
"Nothing has gone wrong," Dave continues. "It's just we confuse quality and quantity. We live in a society obsessed with quantity rather than quality. We’d rather supersize our food than go for quality. So it's no wonder we miss the message. Sure God promises us immortality - supersized quantity of life. A life of no more dying. A never ending life. But he promises us much more. He promises us a life of quality. Now! He promises us the life of eternity. Now!" He pauses again as he lets what he is saying sink in.
"Now, I really ask for your patience, do you mind if I share one more tiny three letter Greek word with you? In fact you probably know it already." Everyone nods and someone says "Go for it Dave."
Smiling he continues, "I know we don't want to study Greek. That's all boring. But sometimes we miss things in God's word. In the passage Beth read and in that beautiful peri-sauce, abundant passage in John chapter..." he pauses waiting for us to finish his sentence. "Ten ten," echoes the reply from us. "Yeah, in John 10:10 there is a special word used for life. In English we just have one word. 'Life'. But in Greek there are several words. And the word used here is the most special of all. It's the word zoë."
I was already riveted, but I'm totally surprised when he says this. “Zoë...My sister's name. Did mom know? She seems to have known much more than I ever realized. Or maybe I just never gave her the time to tell me.”
Dave continues. "Jesus is offering us the zoë life. The life of eternity. It's a quality of life that transcends time and space. It's touching eternity, tasting eternity, now. Even in a hospital room."
“A zoë life,” I think to myself, “Is that what it's about? Is that what I'm experiencing when I meet him. Is that what Dana is living?”
"I don't know if you noticed when you came in," Dave continues, "but it was looking pretty grey outside. Those thick clouds have been hiding the sun for days. But is the sun gone?" he asks.
"No," comes a reply from several people at the same time.
"Of course it hasn't,” he continues. It's still where it always was. It doesn't matter how many clouds there are, how long they stay, the sun is unaffected. Up there, above those clouds the sun is shining. Up there in the heaven above, the sun shines always.
That's the zoë life. A life above the clouds. A life of superabundance despite the seemingly cloudy conditions below. Jesus says I've come to let you have that experience of the life of eternity now. That's what he offers you and I sitting in this hospital room beneath a heavy pall of clouds. He offers us the super abundant peri-sauce flavored life of zoë.
Let me finish with a final passage from Ephesians 2:5-6. "God, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah...Wow, now that’s the place I want to be."
After a time of quiet reflection Dave invites us to share anything we want, if we wish. I hear stories of need, stories of tragedy, stories of hope. But in all of them I hear people crying for help. I just can't bring myself to say anything. It's all too sudden. All too raw.
"Want to talk or just listen?
Join us at 9 when we
chat, read, and pray together."
A middle-aged guy, sitting on a plastic chair says, "Hi everyone. Thanks for coming." He smiles a warm and welcoming smile, making eye contact with all of the approximately ten people seated in the room. He's dressed in a pair of jeans and is wearing a simple pale blue T-shirt. He almost seems too young and casual to be running this church service, but there is something about his smile and manner that seems genuine.
"Let's start with a prayer," he says bowing his head. "Father, thank you." He pauses. I feel a little restless and peek surreptitiously out of one eye. Is he finished? Are we meant to do something?
After a while he continues. "Thank you for twisting the events of this world, for controlling the details of our lives so that today all of us in this room could be brought together. It's beyond our comprehension how you work. We just love you. Love being in your care. Help us to know of a certainty that today you are here. That today you brought each one of us here. Be near us. In Jesus, the beloved name, we pray. Amen."
He looks up and says. "It is so fantastic to see you all here. I was just saying to my wife Paddy earlier today, that for some reason I feel today is special. But anyway, first things first. Some of you are regulars," he says smiling at some on my left, "but maybe a quick intro would be good. I'm Dave Newman. I suppose you could call me the pastor of this little gathering. But that's far too fancy a title. I'm here just like you, to comfort and be comforted. Maybe, if you don't mind, just quickly introduce yourself. If you don't want to, that's fine. Just tap the person next to you."
Immediately I’m worried that this is going to turn into one of those hug and snot and tears things. I really, really don’t feel like that. “I wonder if I can still sneak out,” I think to myself, but realize I’d have to climb over people to do that. I’ll just have to stick this out.
The people in the room briefly introduce themselves. I quickly realize that most of them have someone in the hospital. A few are actually patients.
"Hi," I say when it's my turn, "I'm Malo Bel." I leave it at that. I'm not comfortable saying too much. Why? Maybe I still don't trust people. Maybe I'm afraid I will lose control if I share. For now, my name is enough. Dave smiles a greeting at me, as the person next to me introduces himself.
"Life's a funny thing," Dave says after the introductions are complete. "For some of us this may be our first time coming to talk to God. For some we have been doing it for years. For some of us this may be our first time having a loved one who is sick. For some we have had this for months or years. But whatever our circumstances, God has brought us all today to be together. Now that is amazing. In the midst of our darkness, in the midst of our worry, God says there is light, there is life."
He leans back in his chair, and pauses. I can sense that everyone is waiting. He continues. "One of my favorite Bible passages is in John 10:10. Easy to remember too," he says holding up ten fingers when he says 10:10. "Jesus says, I have come so that you may have life...hey but he doesn't finish there. Not just life like breathe, eat, sleep...no...but that you may have life and have it abundantly."
Pumping his fist in the air he says, "This is life, the FULL-on life. That's what Jesus offers. He came so we can have life and have it full on...abundantly. In fact the word means super abundantly. It's overflowing, brimming over, uncontainable life. Humor me a moment," he says, "I just want to share a Greek word with you because it's so cool. This word ‘abundant’ is the Greek work peri-sauce. How cool...or should I say how hot is that?” he says beaming a huge smile at everyone. “OK it's not quite spelt peri-sauce but perissos- but it gives the meaning. This is a hot, spicy, tasty life. This is a life so spiced, so peri-sauced, it's just huge, bigger than huge, hotter than hot. It’s just full on!" He pauses again waiting for us to process what he has been saying.
He continues in a softer voice, leaning forward slightly. "But, it hardly seems like the type of thing we should be talking about here in a hospital room. A place of people who seemingly lack life. A place of sickness, sadness. A place of no abundance, no overflowing, no heat, no flavor...NO!" He suddenly exclaims, "this is EXACTLY what we should be talking about. This is the EXACT place where Jesus most wants us to experience this abundant life. The exact place where our lives are sad and tasteless, that he wants us to add the hot peri-sauce flavor."
Once again he pauses and looks at each of us. "Jesus holds out a special life to us. It's called eternal life. But before you think I'm talking about the future, about living eternally, which he also promises, I am not. I'm talking about eternal life now. Could someone read 1 John 5:11 and 12 for us."
A young girl, she looks to be in her early twenties says, "I will," and then begins to read. Her voice is soft and I have to lean slightly towards her to hear.
"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life." She finishes reading and looks back at Dave.
"Thanks Beth," he says. "Isn't that amazing. God HAS given us eternal life. Not WILL but HAS. In Jesus you HAVE eternal life now. But you're wondering what went wrong?" he says.
I nod slightly because that is exactly what I'm wondering. Dana, beautiful, awesome Dana is not looking anything like eternal at the moment. And she loves God. She has certainly received Jesus.
"Nothing has gone wrong," Dave continues. "It's just we confuse quality and quantity. We live in a society obsessed with quantity rather than quality. We’d rather supersize our food than go for quality. So it's no wonder we miss the message. Sure God promises us immortality - supersized quantity of life. A life of no more dying. A never ending life. But he promises us much more. He promises us a life of quality. Now! He promises us the life of eternity. Now!" He pauses again as he lets what he is saying sink in.
"Now, I really ask for your patience, do you mind if I share one more tiny three letter Greek word with you? In fact you probably know it already." Everyone nods and someone says "Go for it Dave."
Smiling he continues, "I know we don't want to study Greek. That's all boring. But sometimes we miss things in God's word. In the passage Beth read and in that beautiful peri-sauce, abundant passage in John chapter..." he pauses waiting for us to finish his sentence. "Ten ten," echoes the reply from us. "Yeah, in John 10:10 there is a special word used for life. In English we just have one word. 'Life'. But in Greek there are several words. And the word used here is the most special of all. It's the word zoë."
I was already riveted, but I'm totally surprised when he says this. “Zoë...My sister's name. Did mom know? She seems to have known much more than I ever realized. Or maybe I just never gave her the time to tell me.”
Dave continues. "Jesus is offering us the zoë life. The life of eternity. It's a quality of life that transcends time and space. It's touching eternity, tasting eternity, now. Even in a hospital room."
“A zoë life,” I think to myself, “Is that what it's about? Is that what I'm experiencing when I meet him. Is that what Dana is living?”
"I don't know if you noticed when you came in," Dave continues, "but it was looking pretty grey outside. Those thick clouds have been hiding the sun for days. But is the sun gone?" he asks.
"No," comes a reply from several people at the same time.
"Of course it hasn't,” he continues. It's still where it always was. It doesn't matter how many clouds there are, how long they stay, the sun is unaffected. Up there, above those clouds the sun is shining. Up there in the heaven above, the sun shines always.
That's the zoë life. A life above the clouds. A life of superabundance despite the seemingly cloudy conditions below. Jesus says I've come to let you have that experience of the life of eternity now. That's what he offers you and I sitting in this hospital room beneath a heavy pall of clouds. He offers us the super abundant peri-sauce flavored life of zoë.
Let me finish with a final passage from Ephesians 2:5-6. "God, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah...Wow, now that’s the place I want to be."
After a time of quiet reflection Dave invites us to share anything we want, if we wish. I hear stories of need, stories of tragedy, stories of hope. But in all of them I hear people crying for help. I just can't bring myself to say anything. It's all too sudden. All too raw.
10:21 am, Sun, 12 May
I thank Dave for his words but dash out before anyone can engage me. I return to Dana and she is asleep, however she wakes when I sit down next to her. "So how was it?" she asks.
I pause trying to find the right word. "Uplifting," I reply. "Uplifting in every sense of the word."
I pause trying to find the right word. "Uplifting," I reply. "Uplifting in every sense of the word."