21. Endless
??:??, Sat, 25 May
It's like being home. It's like returning to a special place with a special friend. It's like being where I truly belong.
"Yesh!" I gasp in surprise. "You're here. Here in the café?"
"I'm always here," he replies melting the icy fear in my heart with his smile.
"But, I only find you up passes, over fences, behind old barns. Not here. Right in the middle of a city."
"Malo, I have never gone anywhere. I'm always at the same place. Just like now. And know this, I am always here. It has never been me who leaves and appears but rather you who appears and leaves."
I glance around confusedly and to my astonishment I see we are seated at a wooden table next to a river. Children are playing off in the distance. I see other people walking about. The café has gone.
"How did that happen?" I ask. "Where's the café?"
"It's where it is," Yesh replies. "It just is a temporary place in time. Here in this eternity it does not exist."
I look at him and say, "Sorry, I just don't get it."
"Come with me," Yesh says standing up from the table, "let me show you something."
"Is this just going to confuse me further?" I ask following him.
"No Malo. You've opened your heart to receive. Now you are able to believe."
We walk along next to the river. It reaches out with its peaceful melody as though it has hands. The carpet of green grass is lush under the deep blue sky and the air is alive with the song and sound of birds and insects. In the distance I see the majestic sight of the waterfall. It's mighty throne like presence rising to touch the sky above. As before, the water does not roar as it falls to the river below, but it sends out a soft, living song.
I can't resist reaching out and touching a tree as we walk beneath its mighty boughs. I'm rewarded with warmth and a song of peace flowing through me. It's beautiful fruit, hanging from every branch, sparkles like life itself.
"What are those fruit?" I ask Yesh, as we pass beneath the trees.
"They are life," he replies, "life and healing. But that is not for now. You will taste of it. Soon, very soon."
I'm not sure how distance works here but the throne looking waterfall that seemed so far away is suddenly before us. It's majesty is even more overwhelming. I feel the soft touch of the water, as like a silky veil, it descends from up high into the crystal river below. Rainbows, songs, smells, tastes, compete for attention as a harmony of incredible love, joy and peace engulfs me.
I stare transfixed at the waterfall’s silky veil, mesmerized by its song, by the sparkle of a million diamonds dancing together. But then I notice something else. It's almost as though I can see something in the waterfall - or beyond it. I squint to look more carefully.
"Here," Yesh says handing me what looks like a pile of papers, "take these."
"What's this?" I ask looking at the pile of paper.
Ignoring my question he says, "Malo. Do you know how much we care? Do you know how much your life is guarded over?"
"I 'spose not," I answer, trying to be honest. "I do know you have heard my prayers. But I must be honest there are lots of times I feel like I've been left alone. I mean, why make me suffer? Why let me get into this whole mess? Why let..."
"Malo!" Yesh interrupts. "Trust me." And with that he walks out on the water into the middle of the river and turns standing just below the mighty waterfall. "Come, Malo. Come to me."
I'm standing on the bank clutching a pile of paper and I'm being asked to walk out onto a river just below a massive waterfall.
“Umm,” I reply hesitantly, “I’m just not sure I can do that.”
“You can’t Malo, but in me all things are possible,” Yesh replies. “You must just believe.”
“I believe,” I reply, “please help my unbelief.” And with that I fix my eyes on him and take a step.
I'm walking on water!
"I'm walking on water!" I shout. "Wow! This is amazing. Incredible. Wow!"
Just then I glance sideways and see how huge, how awesome the mighty waterfall is. It's massive veil of water just steps away from me. And with that I begin to sink.
"Oh No!” I cry in a sudden panic, “Save me! Save me!"
Immediately Yesh reaches out his hand and I'm standing on the water next to him. "Malo, never lose sight of me. Never!"
"Now," he continues, "I want you to step into the waterfall."
My look of shock needs no words to explain my thoughts.
"Malo, believe in me," Yesh says.
I sigh, letting go of my anxiousness, letting go of me. I turn and face Yesh my eyes riveted on him. "I will," I say as I step backwards, still clutching the paper through the waterfall. I fall through a door into a room.
Confusion!
It's quiet.
Two people sitting on a coach.
I don't notice the corner of the coach and bump into it. I lose my balance and stumble, and the papers tumble from my hands flying skywards before slowly fluttering down like one of those snow globe scenes.
Shock!
I'm here.
I'm at Pi's offices.
What?
As I scramble to pick up the paper a door opens and a person appears and says, "Five minutes left gentlemen," before vanishing again.
Shock!
I look up from where I'm hurriedly collecting up the paper and I see me. It's me and Randle. What?
Where am I?
What's happening?
The door hisses again.
"Time," says the same person from before, "It's now or never." He turns and vanishes again.
I'm picking up the last of the pages as Randle and that Malo, that stupid, crazy Malo get up and walk to follow their dream.
NO! I want to call out. Don't do it! Don't. This is not what you need in life. Dewati is not who you should be meeting. He will not change your life. Think Malo. Think!
Our eyes lock as the silent plea lances out from me. He glances at me before being swallowed by the hiss of the sliding doors and his determination to live his life, his dream, to grab his prize.
I'm still in shock.
I'm standing on the river next to Yesh.
"What happened?" I blurt as soon as I realize I'm back. "Was that like an action replay? A 3D video thing or something?"
"No, Yesh replies. That was no replay. No video. That was real."
"But how? How can that be? That's happened already. That was ages ago. I don't understand!"
"Malo," Yesh replies as he gently brushes his hand through the veil of the waterfall. "Time is not as you understand it. With God one day can be a thousand years and a thousand years can be like one day. Your time is just a blimp in God's eternity; an eternity that stretches from no beginning through to no ending.”
"I'm still not getting it? So that was like real. I was actually there...with me?" I ask.
"Imagine a wheel," Yesh continues. "This place, is not so much a place as a time. It's God's time. It's eternity."
"Zoë!" I blurt.
"Yes," he replies, "I knew you were ready to hear that. Life. Eternal life. The eternal place. God's eternity. That is the wheel and the centre of everything. That is reality, the only reality because it endures forever. Your time, Abraham's time, David's time, Paul's time are just moments outside the wheel. Any one of those moments exist now, accessible from this time, but all are vapor, passing, non existent.”
"It's unbelievable! Well…" I quickly add, "not in the negative sense but in the mind blowing sense. Wow. Your eternity has always, and will always be? But why me? Have others ever experienced this place...time...whatever?" I ask.
"I would not that any perish, Malo. Any who in faith, who in need seek, will find. Abraham was overjoyed that he would see my day, and he saw it and was thrilled! Ezekiel saw it. John saw it. Paul saw it, he even wrote about the inexpressible things he saw..."
"Yeah," I interrupt, "I know how he felt. Words just don't do it."
Yesh smiles at me. "Many have seen and tasted eternity. Even me when I most needed it."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
Yesh gets a distant look in his eyes, his hand still playing slowly in the silky veil of the falls.
He replies, "As the weight of my act of love was weighing most heavily upon me, Dad brought me here."
"What he transported you here then?" I ask.
"Yes, Malo. In his love he brought me to this place and I spoke with two wonderful friends."
"Who were they?" I ask.
"I spoke with Moses and Elijah. Just talking to them here showed me that my short suffering back then was nothing compared to what I was actually living here in eternity."
"So," I say, "you like sent me to me to help me? Wow!"
Yesh smiles and says, "Malo, if you have eyes to see you will see. How many times we sent messengers to you. How many times you ignored them. How many times I opened a door that you might go another way, yet you never noticed. However love never ends, and so we continue until you see, until you hear."
"But then," I ask, "how come not everyone experiences the joy of eternal life? The joy of this?" I say pointing to everything around me.
"You see Malo," Yesh continues, "God has placed a link to this place in every single human being. He has set eternity in the heart of every person. A piece of this place. A piece of us. A link that calls to be here. A link that if unheeded makes you feel loss and emptiness. A link that is never satisfied until its call is answered. You of all people should know that."
"What do you mean, ‘I of all people should know that’?" I ask.
"Malo." He pauses
"Malo, your mother knew. Names are not just how they sound, sometimes there is far more."
While I am wondering what he means by “your mother knew”, he suddenly says, "I have something really special for you. But first I want to share life with you. Come," he says grabbing my hand and stepping through the waterfall again.
We're standing in a passage. There are two doors. The one says “ICU”, the other says "Delivery Room - No Entry". Yesh seems to hesitate. He looks at the ICU. He looks at me. Then he turns and faces the Delivery room door.
The doors swing open as a nurse races out. I catch a glimpse of a doctor bent over something. He's shouting at the running nurse, "It's not working. Get me another resuscitation kit. Quick!"
It's a baby. I notice the baby lying still. It's tinged a pale blue.
The door closes. Moments pass.
The nurse comes racing back holding an oxygen bottle and face mask. She darts into the room.
The doors swing open.
The doctor is still bent over the baby.
It's still quiet.
The doors close. Moments pass.
The doors swing open.
The nurse races out again.
"What's wrong with everyone," the doctor screams. She's dying. This is also faulty.”
The doors close. Moments pass.
The doors swing open.
The dad runs out. He's crying. "I can't do this. I can't watch it happen again."
I hear the doctor say, "No time." He leans over and breaths into the baby's small mouth and nose.
The doors close. Moments pass.
A cry, a small cry. Someone says, "She's OK. She's OK."
The dad is crying. He hasn't heard, he's too overwhelmed.
We're standing before the mighty veil of an awesome waterfall. My mind, my heart, they are still racing. My feet mechanically follow Yesh as he walks back to the grass where he sits down. I don't think I can take all this stress.
“Did that also happen? Did I go back and see that?"
"Sort of," Yesh replies. "What's more important is what I want to give you. The most amazing gift of all."
"You've already given me so much," I say, "what more can I receive?"
"Do you remember when you were a kid and you were asked what you'd wish if you had three wishes?" Yesh asks.
"Oh yeah! That was a classic. I always would say that my first wish would be for a million more wishes. At which stage Zoe would always say I was not allowed to do that."
"The wish that never ends," Yesh says smiling. “Well I want to give you a gift like that. Show me the stones I've given you."
I reach into my pocket and draw out the three stones and hold them out to Yesh. Their beautiful soft white forms simply marked with a hand, a window and a nail, belying their true power, their true import.
Yesh cups his hands and breathes into them. When he opens them a fourth perfect white stone lies within his hands. He places it next to the other three I have.
I look at it, confused for a moment. I pick it up and notice that it carries the same mark as one of the other stones. It too has a window on it. "I already have this one," I say looking up. "I don’t think I need it."
Yesh does not reply, but looking at me, breathes on me saying, "Receive my gift."
To my astonishment the four stones I'm holding vanish and I'm left with one, unimaginably beautiful, sparkling pure white stone with all four symbols etched on its surface. "Four gifts. Four steps. One purpose. One name," Yesh says.
"In need you came, Malo, following what God placed in your heart. In need you have been shown a journey. A journey back to God. It starts with an open hand. It starts with giving. The journey of love is marked and begun by giving. Then you must breathe out, and give up your life, your strength. And so you exhale. You die. In death you now come to the nail, to Christ the only way from death to life. You come to cross over. In death you reach out and accept the sacrifice nailed to a cross. Yet even still you are not alive." Yesh pauses as he looks away to his right where the beautiful bubbling laughter of children playing can be heard.
He continues, "Little Odelia, who you saw being born, she was a perfect baby. She was perfectly formed by Dad in her mother's womb. She grew perfectly while waiting. Her mother's blood and oxygen supplied her need. And then she was born. She passed from darkness into light. From a watery home to a world of air. From a place of confinement to a place of abundance. And for a moment all was fine. Her heart beat. Her blood had oxygen. But she did not breathe. Soon it was not enough. She needed air. She was not really alive. She was not living. And then the doctor breathed into her lungs, and for the first time she took a breath and everything changed. Her eyes opened, her world turned to light. Odelia was alive. That Malo is the final part of your journey."
Yesh pauses again while I wait expectantly. "What makes something alive?" he asks.
"I suppose if its breathing," I reply.
"That's right, Malo. The out and in of life. The rhythm of breathe. The beat of life. That's why there is air for the final part of your journey. Having breathed out, now in Christ you cross over to the world of light and life, but one more thing is needed. To..."
"Breathe in," I finish. "I must breathe in to be alive."
"That's right Malo, now all that remains is the final gift. This I give to you, the Comforter, the Spirit of God. Many in your world, sadly, cannot receive him because they do not have eyes to see him. But you know him already because he has been staying with you and will even be in you. Malo, I will never leave you. The world may not see me, but you will see me because I'm alive. When you receive me you will know, absolutely beyond doubt that I live in my Dad, my Dad in me, me in you and you in us. You have breathed out yourself Malo, now receive the Holy Spirit."
I look at Yesh in awe. It's almost like I have never seen him before. I’m still holding the stone. Words fail me. I look down at the stone, and tears unbidden, of overwhelming joy flow down my cheeks.
"Malo," Yesh says pointing at the stone. “What you hold is a name, a new name to be given to you and to all who would believe. Not just any name. What you hold Malo is my Dad's name. Our family name."
I look up bewildered. "What? Is this a name?" I ask.
"Four steps, Four lessons, Four letters, One name," he replies. "The first stone has a mark that in Hebrew is the letter Yod. It is the letter for the Hand. Hey is the letter for exhale, Vav is the letter for the nail. And finally Hey is the letter for inhale. Together those four steps, those four letters are the name YHVH. For here there is but One name, the only name. The Living Name of God. That is what is written on the stone. The name of God. Your journey. Your destiny. YHVH."
Yesh pauses as my mind races to comprehend what he has said. I've journeyed, literally in God's name. I've following a path directed by the very essence of who He is so that I might be a name bearer myself. I’ve been following a path to him contained in his very name, YHVH. My mind is a blur of light.
"Malo, the gift you now receive is never ending. In this gift you will experience the life we offer. In this gift you will be lifted up to this place."
"But," I ask, "does that mean my troubles will finally be over?"
"What you seek Malo is peace not tranquility. Joy not fun. Love not desire. These and many more are your gifts. This is the gift that never ends. For the fruit of this gift is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Malo, I have come not to take you from the world for there is much you must still do there, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly."
With that Yesh gets up and starts to walk back along the river. "Come walk with me," he says. We walk in silence soaking up the beauty of this place, this special place.
"In times ahead Malo he will make all things plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I am leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Let's go. It's time to leave here."
I turn and look at Yesh. An overwhelming sense of love, joy and peace envelops me. He looks at me with his searching eyes. I see his unasked question.
"Lord Jesus," I say, "you are the Christ the son of the living God." He smiles. “Now go and tell your friends and family what I have done for you.”
I'm seated on a plastic covered chair in a black and white themed café.
"Your omelet sir." I turn, the waitress is holding my breakfast.
"Yesh!" I gasp in surprise. "You're here. Here in the café?"
"I'm always here," he replies melting the icy fear in my heart with his smile.
"But, I only find you up passes, over fences, behind old barns. Not here. Right in the middle of a city."
"Malo, I have never gone anywhere. I'm always at the same place. Just like now. And know this, I am always here. It has never been me who leaves and appears but rather you who appears and leaves."
I glance around confusedly and to my astonishment I see we are seated at a wooden table next to a river. Children are playing off in the distance. I see other people walking about. The café has gone.
"How did that happen?" I ask. "Where's the café?"
"It's where it is," Yesh replies. "It just is a temporary place in time. Here in this eternity it does not exist."
I look at him and say, "Sorry, I just don't get it."
"Come with me," Yesh says standing up from the table, "let me show you something."
"Is this just going to confuse me further?" I ask following him.
"No Malo. You've opened your heart to receive. Now you are able to believe."
We walk along next to the river. It reaches out with its peaceful melody as though it has hands. The carpet of green grass is lush under the deep blue sky and the air is alive with the song and sound of birds and insects. In the distance I see the majestic sight of the waterfall. It's mighty throne like presence rising to touch the sky above. As before, the water does not roar as it falls to the river below, but it sends out a soft, living song.
I can't resist reaching out and touching a tree as we walk beneath its mighty boughs. I'm rewarded with warmth and a song of peace flowing through me. It's beautiful fruit, hanging from every branch, sparkles like life itself.
"What are those fruit?" I ask Yesh, as we pass beneath the trees.
"They are life," he replies, "life and healing. But that is not for now. You will taste of it. Soon, very soon."
I'm not sure how distance works here but the throne looking waterfall that seemed so far away is suddenly before us. It's majesty is even more overwhelming. I feel the soft touch of the water, as like a silky veil, it descends from up high into the crystal river below. Rainbows, songs, smells, tastes, compete for attention as a harmony of incredible love, joy and peace engulfs me.
I stare transfixed at the waterfall’s silky veil, mesmerized by its song, by the sparkle of a million diamonds dancing together. But then I notice something else. It's almost as though I can see something in the waterfall - or beyond it. I squint to look more carefully.
"Here," Yesh says handing me what looks like a pile of papers, "take these."
"What's this?" I ask looking at the pile of paper.
Ignoring my question he says, "Malo. Do you know how much we care? Do you know how much your life is guarded over?"
"I 'spose not," I answer, trying to be honest. "I do know you have heard my prayers. But I must be honest there are lots of times I feel like I've been left alone. I mean, why make me suffer? Why let me get into this whole mess? Why let..."
"Malo!" Yesh interrupts. "Trust me." And with that he walks out on the water into the middle of the river and turns standing just below the mighty waterfall. "Come, Malo. Come to me."
I'm standing on the bank clutching a pile of paper and I'm being asked to walk out onto a river just below a massive waterfall.
“Umm,” I reply hesitantly, “I’m just not sure I can do that.”
“You can’t Malo, but in me all things are possible,” Yesh replies. “You must just believe.”
“I believe,” I reply, “please help my unbelief.” And with that I fix my eyes on him and take a step.
I'm walking on water!
"I'm walking on water!" I shout. "Wow! This is amazing. Incredible. Wow!"
Just then I glance sideways and see how huge, how awesome the mighty waterfall is. It's massive veil of water just steps away from me. And with that I begin to sink.
"Oh No!” I cry in a sudden panic, “Save me! Save me!"
Immediately Yesh reaches out his hand and I'm standing on the water next to him. "Malo, never lose sight of me. Never!"
"Now," he continues, "I want you to step into the waterfall."
My look of shock needs no words to explain my thoughts.
"Malo, believe in me," Yesh says.
I sigh, letting go of my anxiousness, letting go of me. I turn and face Yesh my eyes riveted on him. "I will," I say as I step backwards, still clutching the paper through the waterfall. I fall through a door into a room.
Confusion!
It's quiet.
Two people sitting on a coach.
I don't notice the corner of the coach and bump into it. I lose my balance and stumble, and the papers tumble from my hands flying skywards before slowly fluttering down like one of those snow globe scenes.
Shock!
I'm here.
I'm at Pi's offices.
What?
As I scramble to pick up the paper a door opens and a person appears and says, "Five minutes left gentlemen," before vanishing again.
Shock!
I look up from where I'm hurriedly collecting up the paper and I see me. It's me and Randle. What?
Where am I?
What's happening?
The door hisses again.
"Time," says the same person from before, "It's now or never." He turns and vanishes again.
I'm picking up the last of the pages as Randle and that Malo, that stupid, crazy Malo get up and walk to follow their dream.
NO! I want to call out. Don't do it! Don't. This is not what you need in life. Dewati is not who you should be meeting. He will not change your life. Think Malo. Think!
Our eyes lock as the silent plea lances out from me. He glances at me before being swallowed by the hiss of the sliding doors and his determination to live his life, his dream, to grab his prize.
I'm still in shock.
I'm standing on the river next to Yesh.
"What happened?" I blurt as soon as I realize I'm back. "Was that like an action replay? A 3D video thing or something?"
"No, Yesh replies. That was no replay. No video. That was real."
"But how? How can that be? That's happened already. That was ages ago. I don't understand!"
"Malo," Yesh replies as he gently brushes his hand through the veil of the waterfall. "Time is not as you understand it. With God one day can be a thousand years and a thousand years can be like one day. Your time is just a blimp in God's eternity; an eternity that stretches from no beginning through to no ending.”
"I'm still not getting it? So that was like real. I was actually there...with me?" I ask.
"Imagine a wheel," Yesh continues. "This place, is not so much a place as a time. It's God's time. It's eternity."
"Zoë!" I blurt.
"Yes," he replies, "I knew you were ready to hear that. Life. Eternal life. The eternal place. God's eternity. That is the wheel and the centre of everything. That is reality, the only reality because it endures forever. Your time, Abraham's time, David's time, Paul's time are just moments outside the wheel. Any one of those moments exist now, accessible from this time, but all are vapor, passing, non existent.”
"It's unbelievable! Well…" I quickly add, "not in the negative sense but in the mind blowing sense. Wow. Your eternity has always, and will always be? But why me? Have others ever experienced this place...time...whatever?" I ask.
"I would not that any perish, Malo. Any who in faith, who in need seek, will find. Abraham was overjoyed that he would see my day, and he saw it and was thrilled! Ezekiel saw it. John saw it. Paul saw it, he even wrote about the inexpressible things he saw..."
"Yeah," I interrupt, "I know how he felt. Words just don't do it."
Yesh smiles at me. "Many have seen and tasted eternity. Even me when I most needed it."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
Yesh gets a distant look in his eyes, his hand still playing slowly in the silky veil of the falls.
He replies, "As the weight of my act of love was weighing most heavily upon me, Dad brought me here."
"What he transported you here then?" I ask.
"Yes, Malo. In his love he brought me to this place and I spoke with two wonderful friends."
"Who were they?" I ask.
"I spoke with Moses and Elijah. Just talking to them here showed me that my short suffering back then was nothing compared to what I was actually living here in eternity."
"So," I say, "you like sent me to me to help me? Wow!"
Yesh smiles and says, "Malo, if you have eyes to see you will see. How many times we sent messengers to you. How many times you ignored them. How many times I opened a door that you might go another way, yet you never noticed. However love never ends, and so we continue until you see, until you hear."
"But then," I ask, "how come not everyone experiences the joy of eternal life? The joy of this?" I say pointing to everything around me.
"You see Malo," Yesh continues, "God has placed a link to this place in every single human being. He has set eternity in the heart of every person. A piece of this place. A piece of us. A link that calls to be here. A link that if unheeded makes you feel loss and emptiness. A link that is never satisfied until its call is answered. You of all people should know that."
"What do you mean, ‘I of all people should know that’?" I ask.
"Malo." He pauses
"Malo, your mother knew. Names are not just how they sound, sometimes there is far more."
While I am wondering what he means by “your mother knew”, he suddenly says, "I have something really special for you. But first I want to share life with you. Come," he says grabbing my hand and stepping through the waterfall again.
We're standing in a passage. There are two doors. The one says “ICU”, the other says "Delivery Room - No Entry". Yesh seems to hesitate. He looks at the ICU. He looks at me. Then he turns and faces the Delivery room door.
The doors swing open as a nurse races out. I catch a glimpse of a doctor bent over something. He's shouting at the running nurse, "It's not working. Get me another resuscitation kit. Quick!"
It's a baby. I notice the baby lying still. It's tinged a pale blue.
The door closes. Moments pass.
The nurse comes racing back holding an oxygen bottle and face mask. She darts into the room.
The doors swing open.
The doctor is still bent over the baby.
It's still quiet.
The doors close. Moments pass.
The doors swing open.
The nurse races out again.
"What's wrong with everyone," the doctor screams. She's dying. This is also faulty.”
The doors close. Moments pass.
The doors swing open.
The dad runs out. He's crying. "I can't do this. I can't watch it happen again."
I hear the doctor say, "No time." He leans over and breaths into the baby's small mouth and nose.
The doors close. Moments pass.
A cry, a small cry. Someone says, "She's OK. She's OK."
The dad is crying. He hasn't heard, he's too overwhelmed.
We're standing before the mighty veil of an awesome waterfall. My mind, my heart, they are still racing. My feet mechanically follow Yesh as he walks back to the grass where he sits down. I don't think I can take all this stress.
“Did that also happen? Did I go back and see that?"
"Sort of," Yesh replies. "What's more important is what I want to give you. The most amazing gift of all."
"You've already given me so much," I say, "what more can I receive?"
"Do you remember when you were a kid and you were asked what you'd wish if you had three wishes?" Yesh asks.
"Oh yeah! That was a classic. I always would say that my first wish would be for a million more wishes. At which stage Zoe would always say I was not allowed to do that."
"The wish that never ends," Yesh says smiling. “Well I want to give you a gift like that. Show me the stones I've given you."
I reach into my pocket and draw out the three stones and hold them out to Yesh. Their beautiful soft white forms simply marked with a hand, a window and a nail, belying their true power, their true import.
Yesh cups his hands and breathes into them. When he opens them a fourth perfect white stone lies within his hands. He places it next to the other three I have.
I look at it, confused for a moment. I pick it up and notice that it carries the same mark as one of the other stones. It too has a window on it. "I already have this one," I say looking up. "I don’t think I need it."
Yesh does not reply, but looking at me, breathes on me saying, "Receive my gift."
To my astonishment the four stones I'm holding vanish and I'm left with one, unimaginably beautiful, sparkling pure white stone with all four symbols etched on its surface. "Four gifts. Four steps. One purpose. One name," Yesh says.
"In need you came, Malo, following what God placed in your heart. In need you have been shown a journey. A journey back to God. It starts with an open hand. It starts with giving. The journey of love is marked and begun by giving. Then you must breathe out, and give up your life, your strength. And so you exhale. You die. In death you now come to the nail, to Christ the only way from death to life. You come to cross over. In death you reach out and accept the sacrifice nailed to a cross. Yet even still you are not alive." Yesh pauses as he looks away to his right where the beautiful bubbling laughter of children playing can be heard.
He continues, "Little Odelia, who you saw being born, she was a perfect baby. She was perfectly formed by Dad in her mother's womb. She grew perfectly while waiting. Her mother's blood and oxygen supplied her need. And then she was born. She passed from darkness into light. From a watery home to a world of air. From a place of confinement to a place of abundance. And for a moment all was fine. Her heart beat. Her blood had oxygen. But she did not breathe. Soon it was not enough. She needed air. She was not really alive. She was not living. And then the doctor breathed into her lungs, and for the first time she took a breath and everything changed. Her eyes opened, her world turned to light. Odelia was alive. That Malo is the final part of your journey."
Yesh pauses again while I wait expectantly. "What makes something alive?" he asks.
"I suppose if its breathing," I reply.
"That's right, Malo. The out and in of life. The rhythm of breathe. The beat of life. That's why there is air for the final part of your journey. Having breathed out, now in Christ you cross over to the world of light and life, but one more thing is needed. To..."
"Breathe in," I finish. "I must breathe in to be alive."
"That's right Malo, now all that remains is the final gift. This I give to you, the Comforter, the Spirit of God. Many in your world, sadly, cannot receive him because they do not have eyes to see him. But you know him already because he has been staying with you and will even be in you. Malo, I will never leave you. The world may not see me, but you will see me because I'm alive. When you receive me you will know, absolutely beyond doubt that I live in my Dad, my Dad in me, me in you and you in us. You have breathed out yourself Malo, now receive the Holy Spirit."
I look at Yesh in awe. It's almost like I have never seen him before. I’m still holding the stone. Words fail me. I look down at the stone, and tears unbidden, of overwhelming joy flow down my cheeks.
"Malo," Yesh says pointing at the stone. “What you hold is a name, a new name to be given to you and to all who would believe. Not just any name. What you hold Malo is my Dad's name. Our family name."
I look up bewildered. "What? Is this a name?" I ask.
"Four steps, Four lessons, Four letters, One name," he replies. "The first stone has a mark that in Hebrew is the letter Yod. It is the letter for the Hand. Hey is the letter for exhale, Vav is the letter for the nail. And finally Hey is the letter for inhale. Together those four steps, those four letters are the name YHVH. For here there is but One name, the only name. The Living Name of God. That is what is written on the stone. The name of God. Your journey. Your destiny. YHVH."
Yesh pauses as my mind races to comprehend what he has said. I've journeyed, literally in God's name. I've following a path directed by the very essence of who He is so that I might be a name bearer myself. I’ve been following a path to him contained in his very name, YHVH. My mind is a blur of light.
"Malo, the gift you now receive is never ending. In this gift you will experience the life we offer. In this gift you will be lifted up to this place."
"But," I ask, "does that mean my troubles will finally be over?"
"What you seek Malo is peace not tranquility. Joy not fun. Love not desire. These and many more are your gifts. This is the gift that never ends. For the fruit of this gift is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Malo, I have come not to take you from the world for there is much you must still do there, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly."
With that Yesh gets up and starts to walk back along the river. "Come walk with me," he says. We walk in silence soaking up the beauty of this place, this special place.
"In times ahead Malo he will make all things plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I am leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Let's go. It's time to leave here."
I turn and look at Yesh. An overwhelming sense of love, joy and peace envelops me. He looks at me with his searching eyes. I see his unasked question.
"Lord Jesus," I say, "you are the Christ the son of the living God." He smiles. “Now go and tell your friends and family what I have done for you.”
I'm seated on a plastic covered chair in a black and white themed café.
"Your omelet sir." I turn, the waitress is holding my breakfast.